Published article: Movie Review – The VelociPastor (2019)


Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★ ★

It’s always tough to know how much of the joke an over the top monster movie like The VelociPastor is in on. Back in the 50s and 60s when these were real B movies, they could afford to be completely ridiculous because honestly, audiences didn’t know any better. But at some point that turned into filmmakers trying to capitalise on the silliness and turn them into a tongue in cheek comedy version of what once was.

And while it’s absolutely in on the joke, The VelociPastor doesn’t cut the mustard. Even with the over the top silliness it’s clearly embracing and relishing in, it’s not quite able to be convincing enough as a spoof comedy of a B movie.

As a backyard, home-made movie goes, it has several redeeming qualities. It’s clearly been made by a production team who have spent time crafting it and it is for the best part, aware of its own limitations. It’s not over stretched unnecessarily into a 90-minute feature and the real skills of writer, director, editor Brendan Steere lay primarily in the latter role. There are some nicely put together sequences including split screens and montages which, while they might be entirely unnecessary, shows that Steere has a pretty good eye for an edit.

Movies of this ilk are left wanting in simple things like story and making basic sense. It’s the difference between Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and Sharknado with the former making absolutely no narrative sense and is just an excuse to make a bad movie while the now cult-like Sharknado series at least strings together something coherent for audiences. The VelociPastor does thankfully sit east in the second camp. Its story can be followed from start to finish and while character development isn’t something the script bothers with, at least the characters’ motivations are clear. Oh, and the soundtrack is quite clearly just a load of music by punk rock bands that the director likes, something which I’m totally on board with.

Read the full review on Flickering Myth.

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